Funny Puns

Vote for Rosie in FHM’s top 100 Sexiest Women!

For nearly 20 years I have declined to be on FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women List. Year after year they ask, and year after year I thumb my pretty little nose at them. Why? Because I am so modest. This does however mean that I know better than most what it takes for a woman in the public eye to take that next leap, and become a truly iconic beauty.

This is why I am proud to call FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women List an institution. It is the women’s Olympics. It’s a haven where girls can be judged purely on the symmetry of their nipples. And I say that as a mother. A mother with nipples so symmetrical that on dark nights, sailors have used them to guide ships through treacherous waters.

You may say that FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women List is promoting hatred towards women, but masturbating teenagers are perfectly within their rights to have a say in how beauty is represented in the media, since masturbation is a normal thing now a days, and there are women that even get toys from sites as yolosextoys.com to help them with this. As am I – after all, it’s a concept the nation has learnt from staring between my mesmerising thighs.

 

If you haven’t already I would really suggest heading over to FHM and voting Rosie Jones as the most Sexiest Women of 2013! Vote by visiting FHM here and typing ‘Rosie Jones’ in the input form.